Recently I have been going through a creative season of self-doubt. Of not making enough, doing enough, or getting enough wins (large or small). I know it hits all artists. Every single one of us has felt it and will continue to feel it, but I fully expected my first big doubts to come during year 1 of full time artistry, not year 2.
Year 1 was filled with good fortune and luck, and big projects. Getting an 8 foot bar top commission doesn’t come along too often. Working with the Moody Center for musician gifts is always my favorite, and it seemed like there was no end to the projects with them in 2025. Between those major projects, my own pieces, and smaller commissions, I didn’t have to cold call, slide into any DMs, or chase leads. Even then I knew it had potential to be a false dawn, but when you’re in it it’s hard to believe that level of business and production would end.
But 2026 had some unique curveballs thrown my way! First and most amazingly, the birth of my first child, a perfect daughter. And working for myself, I was able to take 4 months off with my wife to love on her, bond with her, and grow together as parents. I wouldn’t trade that time for any commission in the world. The one thing that happened though that I decided to choose, is the art stopped. I didn’t make anything for 4 months expect a few sketches here and there. No commissions, no personal pieces, no shows. It was both a restorative breath of fresh air and an anxiety inducing stretch. Starting back up in August 2026 felt like starting from scratch. Working out the cobwebs of my skills, wrapping my head around where I saw my art going, and how to get momentum again. Daunting to say the least.
So looking back it was perfectly natural for doubt to creep in. The easy wins had stopped coming in. The once in a lifetime projects had slowed to a trickle. And I realized I was fully in year 1 growing pains while being in year 2; a hard conclusion to come to. And I felt lost in how to change that. In how to go back into growth mode, into chasing things mode. It was a paralyzing feeling. But a conversation with my art mentor changed everything. We were talkign about reaching out to galleries, other artists, small businesses etc. And I realized what I used to do all the time, I hadn’t done at all in 2026. I needed to get back to taking risks, to putting myself out there, to stop being afraid to fail. To be left on read, to have that email not replied to. To take 100 at bats to hit the ball once, versus what I had been doing this year of only taking 1 swing thinking that is all I could afford to take. I have spent weeks meditating on this mindset and has me chomping at the bit to come out of the gates fast in 2027. That’s my motto for 2027: “Take The Risk”.
My other exercise that has really saved my head space is reflecting on my progress. I hope all artists can do this regularly. Go back to that first art instagram post. That first commission. That first sold piece. Look at what you used to think was amazing. And recognize just how far you’ve come. Your subject matter choices, your style preferences, your technical abilities. I think in times of doubt or valleys, this is a lighthearted and meaningful exercise. To encourage everyone to do this, I’m sharing my first sold piece in 2016, a Maine lighthouse, next to my most recent finished work, Cigarette Break, on sale at the A.R. Mitchell Museum in Colorado. Comparing these two definitely helped me see I may have gotten a little bit better over the years. Thank goodness for progress!
